Grief and loss
The quiet space between what was and what now is
Grief can arise when we lose someone we love. But grief can also arise when life takes a different turn than we had hoped.
It can follow a death, a divorce, pregnancy loss or infertility. It can happen when your health changes, when a relationship breaks down, or when a dream, a future, or an important part of who you thought you were going to be suddenly no longer feels possible.
Some losses are visible to others. Other losses are carried almost entirely alone.
Whatever you have lost, grief can affect your emotions, your thoughts, your body, and your everyday life.
When life takes a turn you didn’t choose.
Grief is not one single emotion, and it doesn’t look the same from person to person.
It can be deep sadness and longing. But it can also be anger, restlessness, emptiness, guilt, relief, loneliness, or a feeling of not being able to feel anything at all.
Maybe you function perfectly well at work, while completely falling apart when you get home.
Maybe you feel that others expect you to have “moved on” before you have.
Maybe you no longer recognize yourself.
Maybe you’re trying to be strong for everyone around you, while you yourself have nowhere to put everything you’re carrying.
Grief doesn’t follow a timeline.
And you don’t have to rush your way out of it.
Grief is not only about death
Some losses are hard to put into words You can grieve the loss of someone you have lost.
But you can also grieve the loss of a child you never had. A pregnancy that did not become what you had hoped for. A relationship that ended. A level of health you no longer have. A future that took a different direction. Or the version of yourself you can no longer find your way back to.
It can be difficult to explain to others why you are grieving when there is not necessarily a visible loss.
But a loss does not have to be visible to hurt.
How can I help you?
In therapy, we can work with, among other things, what grief is doing to you:
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when grief takes up so much space that it becomes difficult to be present in everyday life
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when you swing between keeping your feelings at a distance and becoming overwhelmed by them
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when guilt, anger, longing, or ambivalence take up a lot of space
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when you find it difficult to accept what has happened
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when grief affects your relationships or the way you relate to others
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when you no longer recognize yourself after what you have been through
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when you need to understand your reactions and what lies behind them
You don’t just have to “move on”
How do we work with grief in therapy?
Grief is not something that needs to be fixed. Nor does it necessarily have to disappear before you can feel good again.
In therapy, we explore together what grief is doing to you, and what becomes difficult when you are faced with what you have lost. Maybe there are feelings that are difficult for you to hold, or something within you that you have not yet quite found the words for.
We work with what is alive in you, and with the needs, reactions, and patterns that emerge along the way. Sometimes it is about being able to live with the longing. Other times, it may be about anger, guilt, helplessness, or finding your way back to parts of yourself that have become harder to feel.
There is no one right way to grieve. Grief can change over time, and it is not always about having to let go of what you have lost, but about finding a way to carry it with you.
Others say
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Grief after fertilitytreatment
“Together with Jessie, I realized that I needed to stop the treatment, accept that it hadn’t worked out, and begin working through my grief.
During the 8 weeks, I discovered that my grief was not only about the fertility process. I also had the opportunity to put into words and process other aspects of my life with my husband that I had never previously dared to address or express.
I give Jessie and her grief programme my warmest recommendation. It has been a life-changing experience that has given me both insight and strength to move forward with my life.”
Anja